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2011-10-09 23:46:47

Dr. Demento's Blog No. 1

I never used to enjoy writing. I used to put it off and put it off, until it couldn't wait any longer, and then I'd rush something out, which I'd invariably have to revise and re-write. Plus, I'm not an accurate typist (I do it mostly with four fingers) so I went through Liquid Paper by the quart. I once spent an absurd amount of money for an IBM office typewriter that let you correct errors by pressing a button which activated a white ribbon that would remove the offensive characters from what you'd just mis-typed.

Now I enjoy it much more...and I have the dearly departed Steve Jobs to thank for that, or at least Apple in general, along with Bill Gates and Microsoft.

And thus, I have been persuaded to start a blog. I will be writing some new words for this space every week or so, until further notice. I hope you enjoy them. Your comments will be gratefully welcomed, read, and (in some cases) responded to.


I get questions about many things, but most frequently about a song or comedy bit someone remembers hearing on my show, or perhaps elsewhere, and can't identify. I have a pretty decent fielding average with such questions, but it's not 1.000! After all I've played thousands of different songs, and listened to tens of thousands more, and the memory is not a perfect machine. Here's one I couldn't immediately identify...if you can make a positive identification, I'll be happy to give you credit in this space.

I remember in the 80's I heard a song on your show - "The Unemployment Polka", and it was really great (clap your hand, slap your tail, 7 on the richter scale), etc. Can't find it anywhere - am I mistaken? Thanks, Bill G.

And then there's this one...

I have been trying to find a song that was played a long time ago on your show. It's called "Country Transvestite." Wanted to show my wife that there is at least one country song i like. Thanks Doc.
-Seth Philipp

Seth, you may be thinking of "Truck Drivin' Song" by "Weird Al" Yankovic, from his 1999 CD "Running with Scissors," or possibly the Country Gentlemen's version of the 1969 semi-hit "Big Bruce." But I suspect you're looking for something different. Can anyone help?

And here's one I can answer:

I have been searching for years for the song I wanna be a cow by Stretch Marks. That has been a family favorite. My father used to be a dj and made a cassette for us kids of the Dr. Demento songlist. Is there anyway I could purchase a cd or download a mp3? Thanks so much for your help! -Trish

"I Wanna Be a Cow" by Stretch Marks was played on our show of August 3, 1986. An excerpt from it was played on the show of January 10, 2010 (the online show only, not the radio version). The latter show is among the hundreds available for streaming here at I was able to confirm this info by visiting the Demented Music Database (, clicking on "playlist search engine," and entering the title (the artist's name also works).

You can of course use the Database yourself...enter the name of any song heard on the show, or an artist's name (be sure and spell them accurately) and the database will quickly identify every show on which that song or artist was played.

As for "I Wanna Be a Cow," I can also tell you it was on a tape sent to us from Elyria, Ohio, and as far as I know it was never released commercially.

And there's Dr. Demento Blog No. 1. More in a week or so. Please feel free to ask me anything you like, and/or suggest topics for me to write about.

Till next time, stay deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemented!

-Dr Demento

Previous Replies:
2011-11-02 19:18:40
From: Blasted Bill
Found Bill G.'s song
The Polka that Bill G is looking for is called Graviportal Polka by Dr. Jane. It was only played on the show once.

-Blasted Bill
2011-10-11 07:07:15
From: john

Dr D keep us posted on your road schedule. Will you be in the Hallowenn Parade? What about Reed College? What about the midwest.

I enjoy your show and your blog--keep it up!
2011-10-10 23:43:51
From: chips moondogs

I love finding your web site. Thank you for the blog now too!!!! Where is the best place to get your music you play. So I can play on my Radio show on KCAW. Chip's Moondogs Wednesday From 0000-0200. Been a fan since 76 or 77 back in Minnesota. Thank You again.

2011-10-10 19:35:40
From: Johnny
Doc, how did you find out that "Felix Figueroa" was really Freddy Martin?
2011-10-10 16:46:36
From: Dr. Chuck

Hello, doctor. I've been listening to your show since the early 1980s, and I haven't stopped. When I had a radio show on my college radio station, I adopted the name "Dr. Chuck," and focused playing comedy/novelty music. As you would expect, any time there was a chemistry quiz coming up, the requests for Tom Lehrer's "The Elements" would pour in. Thanks for the many years of entertainment, and for the many more years to come!
2011-10-10 11:34:22
From: Vikki
Blog No. 1
Hi, Dr. D-
I'm so glad you're blogging!
Thank you for all the years of laughter--I've enjoyed your show since 1975.

2011-10-10 10:16:17

good to see you blogging.
I miss hearing your show since you deiced to put your show on the net exclusively .
I might buy a show once in while.
2011-10-10 10:16:09
From: Scott

Hi Doc!
I love the blog idea. To add one more to your frequent types of questions:
My brother recorded four songs onto a cassette tape back in 1975 of your show (a search of playlists let me know it was the December 28, 1975 show.)
Anyway, the "Who's on First" on this tape is unique from any other version I've heard. Do you know any information about this particular track? Like where I could buy this version commercially? Maybe it could be included on an upcoming Dr. Demento Greatest Hits album?
2011-10-10 09:54:52
From: M.Lestatkatt
Re: Blog No.1
Hey Dr Demento,
This New Blog as an Excellent idea. I'm really looking forward to reading more in the weeks ahead. I'd like to make a request for Weird Al - You Make Me, from the new Live! The Alpocalypse Tour DVD (from Massey Hall) for an upcoming show. This performance sounds inspired, and I think it would hold up nicely as an audio only, and a nice alternative to the studio recording.
- Michael in Philly
2011-10-10 02:13:33
From: Michael

Hi doc. I've been getting demented with your show since 1980. Thank you for keeping us in a demented state for so long. Re: Seth. I do believe you are correct and he is thinking of Weird Al's "Truck Drivin' Song" as the driver is indeed a cross dresser.